Kerry aka Big (or not so tall) sis’ blog

This weekend saw me in the hospital mainly crying with pain, vomiting frequently but mostly crying with pain.

My deficient kidney or more correctly Euretha (sp) tube decided to back up and become severely inflammed, the result was me writhing in pain on the waiting room floor because the A&E triage nurse said I wasn't and Accident or Emergency, however after trying to contact the elusive NHS 24hr Doctor  for 40mins- who miraculously appeared from an office directly opposite from where I was collapsed it was decided I was most deffinately an emergency.

After being administered a shot of Pethidine and some antiemtic, neither of which worked, another does was administered 40mins later along with some Buscopan to reduce spasms, and on to a ward to be monitored, again 90mins later it was decided that the pain relief just wasnt hitting the spot and only made me delirious (who can tell the difference some might say) another 'stop and elephant in its tracks' dose was given, bliss bliss bliss, well Im assuming so as I only remember the nurse saying 'just a wee jag' (Jag being the term for jab here in scotland) several hours later I recall being roused to assess my level of consciousness, leave me alone I was sleeping!! What I do remember behind the haze that was my brain function is the relief of no pain, YEAH please can I take it home with me?

The doctor suggested that as I was seeing the Consultant Bod on the Thursay my case would be so much stronger if I were to be an in-patient! I explained I was no longer in pain etc, but they thought that they could get around that by keeping me in and keeping me dosed on pain killers, good lord a hospital that actually wants to keep a patient IN the hospital? I've declined the offer of free bed and board for the week, and will take my chances on Thursday that I can appear pretty pathetic and get moved along the waiting list.

Meanwhile my body is reacting to the Pethidine and other meds to the extent my memory is shot to pieces and I itch, fortunatetly more meds are helping.  Oh Joy

Mum is due to visit tomorrow for a few days, we haven't seen her since Matt's funeral so it will be nice to see her on more happier grounds... meanwhile I need to get my keester into gear and get the house into some kind of tidy, only the kids just don't want to help

Ok I pride myself on my technical skills, Im pretty good with the 'puter and frequently help out my neighbour with his numerous questions - the latest issue is that the fan is making a noise at night thus keeping him awake, I suggested that turning it off would be a good idea, then later Ill pop round and clean it "I cant do that what will happen to all my emails?"  Ive tried to explain but he isnt convinced that they wont disappear into cyber space for good if his pc isnt turned on....

so why is it the Sky box totally baffles me when it fails? its a box with buttons but when it fails I cannot fathom how to make it behave, I suspect it's age has something to do with the frequent problems, last week it kept saying no signal being received, today the screen was blank, I tried everything, turned it off and on again several times, rang Sky and got their lovely helpful "may I call you by your first name" technical bod, who guided me through the process.. unplug the TV and unplug the skart cable......wtf why does that make a difference?

Now ok Ill admit to once telling my mother to unplug the printer cable and shake it to get rid of any data that might be caught in it..... but it did work!  but I still havent figured why unplugging cables and switching the ends round could possibly make a difference? I have visions of a roomful of technicalbods laughing their wee socks off "you wont beleive what I got a client doing today?"

I used to work for a well known computer company on the engineering desk, Id take calls from clients whose machine was 'broked' - we would have a set proceedure to take them through, step one is the machine turned on? yes? are you sure are the lights on? what is on the screen? and on and on, just once and only the once did I make a booboo of mega proportions, I sent an engineer 200 miles to look at a computer with total failure, nothing was working, the engineer eventually returned somewhat sooner than I had expected and certainly not the happiest bunny in the hutch.

Id gone through the entire check with the woman and she had answered correctly - Id asked if the machine was plugged in, yes it was, but Id failed todo because Id assumed she would have checked automatically that the socket was actually switched on! It's not rocket science, it's not hard, but it helps considerably.

Another client who lacked a few brain cells I think, who daily rang for help, finally in frustration I asked if she had windows, yes I do, well pick up the computer and hurl it through one, fortunately she didn't.

I digress as usual, my Sky box now works, but the sound is very dodgy, well more the speech is out of synch on the film Im watching, other channels seem fine, now do I ring the technicalbods and ask for help? do I unplug the thing switch a few cables around, or do I just assume that its their fault, give up and watch something else?

yeah yeah Ill go watch something else.

better yet Ill go cook something for the kids, it's the school holidays - week three is looming, do you know how long a week is?

Yahooooooo I survived my first grown up party!! lots of people arrived and bearing gifts would you beleive. Some came I suspect to view the house, the previous owners had 8 dogs, 2 parots, assorted llamas, horses, geese, ducks, monkey etc so the house was pretty grim at one point. However they all seemed very impressed with its new look, not least the black and white kitchen theme! Im still trying to figure how we managed to drink so much booze but still have so much left, for instance we had 3 empty bottles of Vodka, we had bought 4 for the party, which would leave 1 full bottle, but somehow I have 4 bottles of Vodka - go figure!

Sailing cadets was Monday, generally I slow down enough to throw the kids out (joke) then collect them at 9pm, which I did this week, I went into the club house to say Hi etc and chatted to Alex about the party and first aid kits which apparently the club is in dire need of, I said that we would supply stock etc as this is part of our business, I was to speak to Fiona who dealt with this sort of thing, but she blanked me when I tried to talk to her, then later I find out she had called J a stupid boy, now he maybe many things but stupid he isnt, I checked that he hadnt done anything to wind her up, then placed an official complaint with the commodore... This lady is known for her bad temper and rude attitude, and it seems that most people just shrug it off, well not this bunny, she can be rude all she likes but I for one will not tolerate it, ok if she doesnt like me, fair enough Im an aquired taste perhaps, but outright rudness in an adult is not acceptable. So the commodore has again spoken to this person (not for the first time I gather) and this person has agreed that perhaps she needs to pull her neck in a bit. J also needs to curb his temper and not lose sight of the reasons he is at the club....... to learn to sail and maybe this person knows more than a 13yo boy!

Finally Mum has joined the wireless PC age... not before she experienced some issues she said, however on talking to her it seems that in fact she was already connected but hadnt realised... oh hmmmmmmmmmm

Mum also rang me with some news. It seems that C my sisters long term fella has been offered a job of a lifetime, and went off for interview - in Dubai, my sister knows nothing of this as she is in the middle of the Atlantic on a 68ft clipper, how she will re-act no one knows, and would she follow him is another issue, I hope not in many ways, its only since Matt died that she and I have become closer and Id hate to lose that now, OK we can talk on the net and phone, but it doesnt seem the same somehow. Im not sure how Mum will deal with it either, she seemed excited for him but I suspect that not being able to see T at the drop of a hat might be more upsetting than she would let on... I guess we will have to get the downstairs guest room sorted much quicker than previously planned.

and finally the weather, I mean what the hell is going on? its June for goodness sakes, what happened to Flaming June? was those couple of hot weeks in May all we are going to get? the kids break up on Friday for the holidays and I could not cope with them indoors for SIX WEEKS! oh well I guess we can always go swimming or the pictures or something inside...

Oh and speaking of the weather, it seems some of it is coming through the roof into my kitchen, thats my newly finished kitchen - and can I find the number of the people who did the repairs last year? noooo of course not, can I remeber the company name, noooooooo of course not, do I have the mobile number of V whose company did the work - nooooooooooo not a chance.

Some days I dont like being a growed up person some days Id like to just be able to shout "DAAAAAAAAD theres water coming through the ceiling", then return to listening to Radio One and ignore the problems of dealing with other grown ups and the problems of dealing with grown up stuff like bills, houses, kids and all the crap that comes with it....

Im not honest Im not going to panic!! The floor WILL be finished Im sure, the food will be ediable - our lovely neighbour is insisting that he does the BBQ - Im so worried he might poison someone, either that or Mrs Neighbour who informed me last night she has made two Lemon Merangue pies for the party - eeeeeeeek does merangue keep that long?

So Im faced with a floor not finished, a husband the other end of the country, a stereo that wont work, a son who said he will do the music, Ive tried to explain that at our age techno music sounds like a badly tuned radio, hey ho, and food that may or may not be ediable. (Please does merangue keep?)

The up side is that I don't know how many are coming - ha ha ha so thats just the 6 of us so far then... nope Im not going to panic. The weather has been foul for days, Ive even had to resort to putting the heating on, yes yes I know we live in Scotland and what do I expect??? SUNSHINE thats thats what, not too much to ask is it?

Am I coming across manic?

Oh and I bought a dress, beautiful it is, and shoes to go with it till C asked if they (the shoes) are suitable for a BBQ - why? whats wrong with strappy stilettos? Oh yeah grass, grass and spikey heels dont mix, soon remedied I bought some wedges, which are cool I used to wear them in the 70's/80's first time round and loved them, except this time round I walk like Frankistiens monster, clump clump clump, oh yes thats the image I want!

Am I still sounding Manic?

What next? oh yes one couple invited to the party seemed to miss the point that its for growed up people, not adults with kids in tow, Ive had to send a subtle email "sorry I think J has misunderstood about the party, that its for grown ups and I hope he isnt too upset at not being able to come" I should have been a diplomat, feel I handled that well, pass the blame onto a 10 year old seems like a great plan.

Oh hummmmmm oh yes I remember now, saw the doctor about my apparently dodgy kidney, seems that its not actually kidney stones (you mean Ive been drinking 2 litres a day for nothing?) but a dodgy shaped uretha tube - thats the little tube from the kidney to the bladder, and pee doesnt come through it very quickly, why suddenly its decided to be awkward after all these years I dont know, but it seems I can have it fixed in a jiffy, well more like as a day patient across the waater, meantime keep taking the mega strength pain killers "yeah man what a gas".  Its also apparent that my monthly period is the cause of my anemia, not so much a flow as a full monsoon type flood for 2-3 days, now I have super strength Iron tabs which make me puke (needed to lose a little weight) and some magic pills that are supposed to reduce the flow - the result of all these meds meant a huge dent in the weekly budget, Ive now got a certificate that says Ive paid in advance which should reduce the eventual costs.

 Oh well I guess Id better google Merangues (or however you spell it) and see if the blasted things can be kept for 4 days, otherwise Im going to have to cook again..........

Dad's Army - They don't like it up 'em

In my efforts to get down my jubliant one up on my son I neglected to mention my own stupidity, well its not stupidity in a stupid way, just in a Dur and Huh kind of way.

C and I managed to attend a ceilidh without our lovely chaperons (they have been wonderful and introduced us to the locals) and found we could actually talk to other people without too many gaffs, so much so that the following morning as we port mort'ed the evening I heard my voice say "you know we ought to have a BBQ and invite people over", it was one of those moments where you discover you have your hand in the air and volunteered to make 200 cupcakes for the PTA bring and buy stall, or worse agreed to man one of them for an 'hour only' (yeah right been there too)

Give C his due he did say yes and it could be for your birthday too, great idea, all we needed was a guest list, food list and good hot Scottish sun.

However several days later as I was hoovering the carpet, I realised that this carpet was badly stained from the previous owners dogs, and worse the bathroom one stank (why carpets in bathrooms for godsake?) - so I decided to rip up the bathroom one, afterall its not a huge room and wont cost much to replace, BUT and there is always a BUT I decided I couldnt possibly have people over with the hall carpet so minging. C agreed we could replace it and it did take him a few days to realise he also wanted solid wood floor.

So here I sit with cases of wood flooring waiting to be laid, having removed the old carpet - OMG it was dreadful, the underlay virtually rotting from god knows how much dog piss. C is due home this evening as is Oldest Daughter to celebrate my birthday, The party is a week away, so if you have any skills at laying wood flooring now is the time to shout out!

Speaking of birthdays, Ive been requested to supply a 'list of stuff Id like' and found I couldnt think of very much, Id already had a new telephoto lens for my camera and mightly pleased with it I must say (see picture of heavy traffic passing by my house) - The Grand Princess heading up the Clyde to Greenock at 7.10am this morning

IMG_0887

So what does a 40 something want for her birthday?  well I needed some make up bits, and asked for some plants for the garden, Id love a pink handbag to go with my pink shoes - which are the wrong shade to go with the pink dress I bought for the party....

So back to the party, well Ive invited people we have met and like, but now I feel a little like a stalker, will these people think Im some kind of English nutter who invites people randomly to parties, or will they be pleased that they impressed me enough to be asked? Im also having random panic attacks, mostly because I opted for the funny approach when sending out invites, "BBQ for K's birthday bring a brolly and sunglasses you know the drill, blah blah" - would I respond? well yes because Im a sad case and want to be liked, and yes Id be a little concerned that some 'almost stranger' has invited me to their party.

So Im either going to be sat here with a shed load of burgers and salads waiting for people to arrive, or everyone of the buggers will turn up - C said no more than 20, I thought he meant couples - dur he meant people, opps well Ill just deny that I knew they were coming........ 

Woohoo finally I found my back bone!!! Seems it wasnt missing after all.

Today I get a call from the senior school regarding a trip to Italy that we have told senior son we are not paying for because he still owes us from the last one that he went on, which included passports and spending money, which came to over £600!!

So today the school ring demanding money!?!? Now J has repeated said its not an issue, he is paying etc etc. We have repeated said we will NOT be bailing him out.

So I told the teacher

a) we never signed a consent form

b) we never gave verbal permission

c) we refused to pay

d) we have seen no letters from the school demanding money

e) that he is 18, left school and legally an adult so he will have to pay

f) that in my honest opinion he will not have the money for this trip, and they should not under any circumstances allow him to go till he has fronted some money.

and I feel blooming good about it!

I also made the decision that as he has left school and not in college etc he can pay bed and board, not that he has any money to do this with of course

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to do something about my memory, I can be sitting typing something like this and a word eludes me, I can nearly see it in my mind’s eye but its just out of focus, the more I struggle to remember the more it moves away, so I opt for another less satisfactory word. I worry that I am losing my memory, or perhaps over the years I’ve used it less because Mum stuff is done on auto pilot.  This might go a long way to explain why women often fear going back to work, the ‘baby brain’ never to revert to the once quick witted and thinking thing it  was, working for myself I don’t have to worry that I’m going to make a prat  of myself, I can always correct an editorial later, I can look up words and spellings, never to worry that I’ve made a mistake.

I write lists endless lists, generally to be lost in the pile of mess and lists on my desk, the lists are to serve as reminders, but if I forget the list it’s pointless. The Brain Trainer programme looks interesting but I worry that it will have my mental age as 80 plus which for a 40 something is a scary prospect.  I don’t want to lose my memory, I don’t want to be one of these women for whom life is a constant distant thought, there one moment gone the next, appearing to the world as slightly doolay and vague, always on the edge of understanding conversation, or the news, even the world.

Making the effort to remember in itself is hard, I’ll do it later when I’ve done the washing, the ironing, opps I forgot to get some meat out of the freezer for dinner (yes I really had). However as most women find, busy women in particular it’s gone again, to be remembered the next time the memory happens across that thought, like a random message appearing on your mobile phone, “Mke appt @ vets” “tk J 2 Opts @2”

More worrying is that my daughter is also forgetful, I get a text messages to say she has forgotten her saxophone again, and it’s presumed someone will drop everything and take it in to school, ‘that would be me again’. Perhaps it’s a family trait, or maybe we are just lazy and need to think harder!

Last night I had lots of dreams, I probably do most nights but never remember them, I often awake to the sound of toilet doors slamming, or the dog barking to be let out, however last nights were weird than normal, I suspect it’s the pain medication, at least I hope so.

So the first one pretty much can be explained away, I dreamt that Heather Mills had committed suicide, this maybe not so odd given her apparent delicate mental state over recent months, but more likely that she had been discussed on forum regarding her reinventing herself as a life style guru, the general consensus was that she would be the last person to take advice from, again given her previous odd behaviour. So why the dream? Well again the meds are to blame, I’m sure that the leaflet should mention in passing ‘ some patients may experience odd/weird dreams’. I’d also been told of the suicide of a young girl just that night, someone who tragically felt they had nothing more to live for, unlike Miss Mills. I think what had alarmed me  on waking was that it might be true and the forum to blame, so ok ok like HM is really going to kill herself over the opinions of a dozen mothers with not a lot else to do but put the world to rights whilst their other halves watched the Man United match (they won).

Oh on the subject of the football Chris has a theory, that in the current by-election in Cheshire, Labour will win because Manchester United won, the theory is according to him, that the labour fans will be in a good mood and more likely to be out voting in a happy mood, Red = Labour, Blue = Conservatives, it’s not a bad theory, and I’m sure some political pundit has already considered this, but if not Chris thought of it first!

My second dream was even more bizarre, and yes I’m considering asking for a lower dose. In my dream I’m looking out of my window at the water, and along comes an amphibian train, so shoot me it’s my dream it doesn’t have to make sense! Anyway this train was in fact just a flat bed trailer affair with dozens of people sitting and waving scarves and flags, as I looked down the road there were 100’s more people in the gardens and along the road also waving flags and scarves, it was then I noticed they were all green and white… the penny drops they were Celtic fans, even more strange as most of the males in this house support Rangers.  I shouted to my neighbour who was cooking up what was happening and he replied that it was the cup final of course and they were playing at the sailing club.  Yes of course it all makes sense….. NOT. I tried to explain the dream to Chris, who laughed and said that I probably was losing my marbles and they could cure that, gee thanks Hun.

Over the past year I've had cause to reflect on the kindness of strangers, the loss of Matthew made us realise that sometimes there are some wonderful, kind and generous people out there.  After Matt died some of the forums I frequent and have done for many years set up collections, and gifts arrived in the form of flowers, food from the local deli, Garden vouchers for Matts Garden. One particular group which I haunted daily was Bad Mother's Club, the women on there were astounding, the letters and cards we recieved where beautiful, and we also received phone calls of support. The Bad Mothers sent a lovely bouquet of flowers, and we undertstood more money in the fund. However we couldnt think what to do with this.

Finally we decided to get a stone bench to put in the garden, so we could sit and watch the water, and most of all remember the kindness of strangers.

But it seems that obtaining the money wasnt as easy as it seemed, the person holding it seemed to have many many poor excuses why she couldnt access it, account not in her town, Paypal account closed, no card, account in wrong name, no cheque book and on and on, Matthews anniversary passed and still no bench, BMC became subscription only, and I decided not to pay, but this meant I couldnt thank the people who donated.

Finally we had to issue an ultimatum pay the money by 14th May or face the consequences of the police, I passed on my bank details (wrongly twice) but finally sent the correct ones. At this moment in time we are still waiting to see if this money arrives.

My initial thoughts are that once the money is paid that would be the end of things, but you know what, this person has made a mockery of our sons death, his memory is precious to his parents, siblings and grandparents, and this woman stomped over them, her persistant lies about the money and why she couldnt get at it was unbelievable.

I looked back over her excuses

Old account no access

In a different town to where she lived

Closed her Paypal account where the money had been sent to - who closes their paypal account and why move it in the first place

No cheque book - banks will issues a bank cheque on request

Mother didnt have a cheque book see above excuse

No card for the account - transfer it for goodness sakes

No Pin number for the account

Account was in maiden name couldnt get to it

and on and on and on

Come on Nickie you need to stand up and admit you were in the wrong, you had the money and until we threatened police action had no intention of paying it. Maybe you 'borrowed' it I don't know, but what I do know is that Matts anniversary passed and still no money, and we couldnt thank Bad Mothers unless we paid subscriptions.

My lovely Diva friends Stacey and Carol have been a tower of support, and more than once pointed out that I need to get a back bone and get tough - well I did. Admittedly I boobed at the last leg and at present still waiting to see if the money arrives.

She has ample time since I gave the correct details to send it.

So it goes to show that in the main the milk of human kindness does exist, just now and then you get a sour sip

Finally after 6 or more long years J has a statement for Dyslexia! We had a meeting with the SENCO staff to see what will be put in place for him, and it seems plenty will, not least he will no longer be penalised for poor spelling and grammer, and will be given a note of dispensation to allow for a scribe, extra time and a laptop during exams for the whole of his educational career. Inlaws have insisted they buy him his own laptop, this will mean he can take notes on the machine and transcribe them into work at home, they are supposed to be loading some software from the school onto it. I want to send his old school a letter about him, they said he didnt have dyslexia and all but said he was a lazy git, J is an extreemly intelligent and thoughtful child (mostly) and has a high IQ level, he gets bored quickly, but also very frustrated when the words in his head wont appear on the paper, a bit like being able to understand a language but not get others to understand you I suppose.

The Sun shone for almost a week, and I look marginally healthier than the week before thanks to a few snatched moments in the garden, the joy of sitting and looking at the sea from the comfort of our own bench is wonderful, I just knew there was a good reason to buy a house on the beach! The garden is looking a bit shabby, the mower broke and we are lacking in livestock to munch it to the aquired length, I's hoped next door would take pity and offer the use of his sit 'n ride but no he just motored round his wee patch oblivious to my plight.

It's Friday, and I won't have to work, the websites are giving me a headache, not least because Im struggling to get some SEO work done by another person, words like 'Bombs and Backside' spring to mind, but Ill wait till Monday and put my assertive head on, that's assuming I can find it..... I've had to order some new PC parts, and a laptop, mind died finally, plus the one I was using has stuck keys, made Mother laugh cos I could type S and W, I think she thought I was typing new type of text ha ha

Because it's Friday means cooking and cleaning - ah the joy of family life, in truth I could do most of it this afternoon as I tend to shut down just after lunch... but can't be bothered, something woke me at 5.30am and I couldnt go back to sleep, I suspect it was because of my own stupidity with the dogs, I'd moved their sleeping crate into the sitting room so they could use it during the day and still see me at the desk, what I'd forgotten to do is shut one of the 3 doors to the crate. Result was two wide awake Pups having escaped their crate and unable to get out of the room, so they kept banging on the door and yapping.

I tried to use the credit card on Monday to order a compost bin (makes mental note to do so today) but the card wouldnt go through, I thought it was because we spent a small fortune on sailing gear for the kids (2nd mental note to get wetsuits for 2 kids who have decided to grow between sailing seasons), anyway it seems it wasnt the overload of debt on the card but simply I'd forgotten it was a new one and a new SEC number, DOH!!! 

Mother got a Knee brace this week (is there a song there?), hopefully it will help with the walking, though the pain is starting to really get her down - actually reading that back it's an understatement it makes her  depressed and unhappy, I suppose if it's constant and without end it must make the days seem to last forever, roll on 26th May when its NEW KNEE DAY, and whilst it will take some time for her to adjust to the knee and learn to walk again, the pain should be gone and that has to be a plus, though I suspect knowing my mother's inability to sit and do nothing all day she will quickly be frustrated by the lack of ability to be as mobile as she would like. "Heads you win Tails you lose"

Ive emailed my sister on the WA but not heard back, everyone else has apparently, Ill try once more then see what happens, a quick Hi and Im ok would be nice you know!

Things to remember list one part one

1) remember to drink something during the day, this ensures you aren't doubled up in pain when you kidneys kick off, not recommended during a night out,

2) remember to take pain relief with you at all times - see 1 if all else fails borrow some paracetamol and a large vodka and coke, it's very effective.

3) remember to double check an event before you agree to go, this ensures that you don't turn up to a pretty piss poor event, and have the urge to yell "Shut the F*** up" to the screeching female vocalist, actually I was beaten to that by the table next to us.

4) learn to drink something other than tequila, this ensures that when you get to an event that doesnt sell it you can at least have a drink other than lukewarm coke.

Tequila_poster_03

5) the sun is deceptive and can burn your skin in the 30mins you sit out in the warm scottish air

6) do not under any circumstances stratch burnt skin, it will hurt lots!

7) when showing off your jumping skills on the kids trampoline make sure that your tops stay on top and your bottoms stay put, flashing the neighbour and a bus load of tourists is very likely to get you a reputation

8) make sure the handset of the phone is off before you call a client "a miserable cow" - the very statement itself tells you all you need to know about Monday at work

9) Dogs have feelings, and its NOT soft or soppy to ring up the neighbours dog and wish her well for her impending operation, it earns you browny points or a large tequila

10) Sundowners or "sun over the yard arm" in the warm su

n are great unless you have to get the kids school uniform, be prepared......... have a spare set tucked away just in case

I think these 10 points sum up the weekend pretty well